Put the Money in the Bag
by Musicstarnc
Summary: No one will lend America 20 bucks so he decides to take matters into his own hands...


**Just to be safe: No one try this ANYWHERE!**

"Hy, Iggy!" America yelled just walking in to England's home without knocking. The strawberry-blonde country peeked his head out of the kitchen to look at America. He had some sort of batter stuck to his cheek and nose as well as all across his apron.

"Oh bloody... what do you want, America?" He asked. A thick ashy smoke filtered out of the kitchen as he waited for America's reply.

"I, uh... shouldn't you be watching your food?" America asked pointing in the kitchen as something lit up behind England. The country still did not turn around though.

"Nevermind that. What do you want?" He asked again. It was at this point the smoke alarm went off and England finally turned around. "WHY DOES IT ALWAYS GO ON FIRE!?" He screeched, grabbing a fire extinguisher and staring dejectedly at his would be dish after the flames diminished. He turned and glared at America. "This is your fault for distracting me!"

America flinched. "I just wanted to borrow twenty bucks..."

"No! You never pay me back and I use euros anyway!" England yelled trying to find a stool to shut the fire alarm off. "Now get out of my house you git!"

America put his hands up defensively and left. He tried a series of other countries trying to get his twenty bucks. No one seemed to have any money or just didn't want to lend him anything. He limped back to his house, praying D.C. was back from hanging at Tokyo's. In hindsight, visiting Switzerland was a bad idea from the start.

He got an ice pack for the graze wound Switzy's gun had given him. He walked into the living room and D.C. was on the edge of the couch watching re-runs of Doctor Who on BBC America.

"Hey there D.C..." America trailed off. She responded by not even acknowledging his wound but shushing him and waving dismissively, her eyes glued to the screen. America peered at the screen which displayed a bunch of statues closing in on screaming people and a large blue phone box. Okaaaaayyyy...

"Hey, can I ask you something?" America asked.

"If this is about last Friday; I have no idea how the window broke, I swear!" She didn't even look at him as she said this.

"What? No, not that," America bit his lip as he knew full and well how the window had broken and was not keen on sharing. "I was hoping you could lend me twenty bucks."

"Oh. Sorry, dude. I spent all my money on these," she pulled a pair of shades with one lense blue and the other red.

"You spent all of your money on sunglasses!?" America could not believe shades were that expensive nowadays.

"Yep. But they're perfect for my Sollux cosplay outfit," She proceeded to put them on, put her hands behind her head, lean back on the couch, and watch her Doctor Who.

America sighed. Even his own capital didn't want to give him money. Well, she didn't have it but still. He needed twenty bucks. Then it hit him. He had the perfect way to get his money. An evil grin settled on his face and he drummed his fingers together.

"If your going to be THAT creepy go scheme in your own room," D.C. jerked her thumb toward the hall. America scowled but walked back there anyway.

He grabbed an old black ski mask and some dark clothing. Once again smiling evilly, he donned the clothes and a bag from the kitchen. Perfect.

...

"ALRIGHT EVERYBODY FREEZE!" America screeched as he burst through the front door of a bank holding his pistol with no real intent of shooting anyone though. A ski mask, some black jeans and his "trust me; I'm a ninja" T-shirt turned inside out worked just fine for the stereotypical robber. Only he wasn't holding a pillow sack for the money.

He walked up to one of the receptionists who flinched and shook when he turned to her. America pulled a Ziploc sandwich bag from his pocket, opened it, and held it out to the woman.

"Put twenty bucks in the bag!" He demanded. The woman looked surprised but put a twenty in the bag. America then backed out of the bank and ran off somewhere. He switched clothes and walked over to his local Blockbuster.

The guy at the counter looked up at America with disinterest. "If it isn't Alfred. Do you have the money this time?"

"Yes I do!" America slapped the twenty on the counter. The guy checked to see if it was counterfeit, which it wasn't, and then accepted it giving America his receipt.

Later that night, America was throwing his laundry into the washing machine when something caught his eye in his jeans pocket. He pulled it out revealing a twenty dollar bill.

America stared at it, suddenly overcome with such anger at himself for what had been done.

The next day, America went to the bank and returned the twenty dollars.

**Yes I know it's stupid. But I wanted to write it and I did so I'm happy. Also, please refrain from mentioning Homestuck in the reviews. Thank you. I'm sorry if they're out of character; I really suck at writing people in character. Thanks for reading and don't hesitate to leave a review! XD**


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